Wilson family learning to heal following death of daughter and sister Izzy last fall
Michelle Wilson and her eldest daughter Isabel (Izzy) were busy making plans for the upcoming holiday weekend.
“Izzy and I were talking on and off all day about Thanksgiving and what we were planning to do that weekend. At 6:18 p.m. she sent me a text saying that she and Liam (Izzy’s boyfriend) were leaving Regina and on their way home to Kipling.
So, by 8 p.m. I was looking out the window, and thinking that they should be pulling into the driveway soon.”
When Izzy’s car failed to appear, Michelle became uneasy.
Something was not right.
“Quentin (Michelle’s husband) went to help a friend of ours and I decided to go on Facebook while I was waiting. The first post I saw was about an accident near Davin where two people had died and one person had been taken by STARS to hospital. That was the one and only time I saw that post.
After that, I tried texting Izzy and got no response.
“As soon as Quentin came home, I told him that Izzy wasn’t answering my text. So, he called Liam and got no response from him either. We decided to go and look for her and told Emily (their youngest daughter) to stay home and text us if she and Liam got there.
“By the time we got to Peebles, Emily contacted us and told us that the RCMP were at our house. That’s when we knew.”
Just outside of Davin, a pickup truck had crossed over into the wrong lane, causing a head-on collision which claimed the life of 22-year-old Isabel Wilson and the driver of the pickup truck. Isabel’s boyfriend Liam, the sole survivor, was left badly injured.
Michelle and Quentin can vividly recall much of what happened during the hours and days which followed.
Many of those memories have the garish clarity one expects of a nightmare.
The couple was given some information about the collision (although both say that answers to their questions seemed more difficult to obtain as time went on).
However, there was only one piece of information which offered some possible insight into why the Wilsons now found themselves living in this nightmare.
“It is alleged that the driver of the pickup truck was driving while under the influence,” says Michelle. “Our daughter did nothing wrong. They were coming home to celebrate Thanksgiving. She was in her lane and driving the speed limit. She was wearing her seatbelt. She was probably singing along to music or joking with Liam. But allegedly, that other driver made a selfish decision that cost our daughter her life.”
As the family continued to try and find ways of coping with their grief and loss, Michelle says that she was led to contact MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) in the hope that there might be support available for them through that organization.
“I happened to see a commercial for MADD, something that I haven’t seen in years. In that commercial, they said that the minute someone decides to get behind the wheel while impaired, nothing that happens can be called an ‘accident’. That just made so much sense to me. So, I decided to give MADD Canada a call.
When a call like that comes in, Gillian Phillips (Victim Services Manager – Western Region – MADD Canada) says that one of the organization’s primary goals is to offer support and guidance to families like the Wilsons.
“Everyone needs a different type of support in situations like this. Some just contact us needing court accompaniment or wanting to talk to somebody once or twice. Others might want to become involved with MADD or become part of our online support groups. Each person lets us know how we can support them. And our goal is to give them that support by providing them with the resources that we have and letting them know that they aren’t alone. There are people who can help.”
Phillips adds that through MADD Canada families living through these situations can find help within a community of people who have lived through similar situations and understand what they are going through.
“We have our National Conference for Victims and Survivors in May, where we fly families from wherever they are in Canada to attend this three-day conference, and all of the cost is covered by MADD Canada. We have a Youth Conference that takes place at the same time and location as the main conference, where young people can work with trained facilitators. Many of these young people stay in touch with each other, support each other, and become good friends.
“The adults attending the conference can take part in sessions meant for dads and moms who have lost a child, people who have lost a parent or sibling, and husbands or wives who have lost their spouse. So, every person at the National Conference can get the support that they need.
“As well, these people have often been part of our Online Groups, which are also tailored to specific situations that people are facing. This means that when they get to the conference, they will often find names and faces that they already know. Injury survivors also attend our conference, and both injury survivors and victims often become victim service volunteers and volunteers with MADD.”
At a MADD presentation held at Kipling School recently, Elysia Townsend (Field Representative – Western Region – MADD Canada) spoke to Grade 7-12 students about the dangers of driving under the influence. She says that prevention through education is another of MADD’s primary goals.
“Our School Program is focused on prevention. Typically, every morning and afternoon during the week, I’m in a different school doing a presentation. The smallest group I’ve ever spoken to was four students. The largest was at a high school in Edmonton, where I spoke to 1,500 Grade 12 students.
“The reaction that I see to this message depends a great deal on where I happen to be. The students in a large inner-city school who don’t drive as much tend to react differently than those in a small rural school, where everyone depends on driving.
“We’re also working hard to ensure that our message reflects the realities that students are facing today. Most students have heard that you shouldn’t drive when you’re drunk. That message has been out there for a long time.
“But there is often a misconception that driving while high on Cannabis or some other drug isn’t as bad as driving while drunk. So, we’re trying to get the message out that driving under the influence of Cannabis of any drug (including some prescription drugs) is just as dangerous as driving under the influence of alcohol.
“If we get that message out to students, our hope is that they’ll carry it with them into adulthood.”
During the presentation in Kipling, both Michelle and Emily stood up to talk to the students about their experience also. As they move ahead with their healing, Michelle says that prevention will be a priority for them as well.
“I’m hoping that MADD will give me some training of guidance so that I can go around to schools in this part of Saskatchewan and talk to students. We’re also planning to take the fancy truck that Izzy had to car shows and set up a table there, so that we can get the message out to more people.”
“We really want to raise awareness about this in our community. Speaking about what happened has given me something to focus on other than her loss. And Emily has said that she would like to speak and give presentations too, as part of her healing process too.”
“Standing up and talking about this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And we’ll likely never know if it’s had any impact on anyone. But if there’s a chance that doing this can cause one person to make a different choice, and prevent another family from living through this nightmare, it will have been worth it.”
