It is the “House of the Future” complete with a long list of technological wonders designed to make life easier. The only problem is that most of the innovative marvels scattered throughout the house… don’t work.
However, the “House of the Future” functions perfectly as the setting for the Corning Community Players latest offering No Sex Please – It’s Christmas which opened with a Pub Night on Nov. 4.
The play opens with Broadbent (a hapless developer) who is determined to (finally) sell the “House of the Future.” He offers a $5,000 financial incentive to his employees Ben Adams and Casey Cody, if they agree to take on the role of a married couple (who have been renting the glitchy abode) and host the perspective buyers (Fred & Gladys McNicoll) in the home over the Christmas holidays.
Determined to see the deal done in time for the New Year, Broadbent also hires a beautiful (but less than brilliant) chef named Sue Johnson to cook the holiday feast for the McNicolls. And to guard against any technical difficulties, Broadbent offers another employee (Mr. Cott) the same $5,000 “bonus” if he will remain available “behind the scenes” to effect repairs.
Ben (who is reluctant to even imagine himself married to anyone) and Casey (who is certain her fiancé would be less than enthusiastic about this “assignment”) both find 5,000 reasons to agree to Broadbent’s scheme.
Mr. Cott likewise agrees to his role in the affair – despite the seemingly endless and ever-changing list of afflictions which make it impossible for him to personally test the more elaborate (and potentially damaging) “features” in the home (such as the self-cleaning bathroom and Ion Chamber).
Complications arise when Sue begins to flirt with Ben (causing him to re-examine his reluctant stance on marriage).
Then, not long after the perpetually hen-pecked Fred McNicolls and his delightfully domineering wife Gladys arrive – they overhear Casey make a comment about “Mr. Cott.”
Desperate to keep the perspective buyers from knowing that the home’s amenities are prone to malfunction – Casey insists that she was talking about the Nanny (for two impromptu children) named “Miss Turcotte.”
This necessitates a quick costume change for Mr. Cott, who commandeers Sue’s skirt (leaving her to rely on her not-so-quick wit and an oversized apron).
However, it is the arrival of Casey’s future father-in-law Walter Brooks that becomes the catalyst for mayhem. To prevent Walter from finding out that she and Ben are “married,” Casey instructs Sue to become Ben’s wife whenever Walter is in the room (while she and Ben endeavor to emulate wedded bliss whenever the McNicolls are present).
Unfortunately, Gladys overhears almost everything that she isn’t supposed to (and proves more than able to fill in the gaps with some rather sordid assumptions). Meanwhile, the happily divorced Walter declares his ardent fascination for a very buxom “Miss Turcotte.”
The result is a series of hilarious misunderstandings, unintentional innuendos and mechanical misadventures that culminate in an ending that demonstrates the true potential of the home’s inept AI.
Walter (who has been attempting to uncover what “Miss Turcotte” is determined to cover up) stumbles into an automatic closet that he does not come out of for the remainder of the play (much to Mr. Cott’s relief).
Fred (who has been busy studying the temperamental technology) is able to utilize the Ion Chamber and self-cleaning bathroom to adjust his wife’s settings, and the couple decide to buy the house. This leaves Casey with her virtue intact, while Sue and Ben are freed from the bonds of matrimony to pursue other interests (and each other).
Monica Dayman (cast member) says that the Corning Community Players performances have been well received.
“We’ve had sell-out crowds at each of our evening performances so far. As well, there were 76 people at our afternoon matinee on Nov. 6. And the feedback that we’ve received about the meals, our decor and the play has been overwhelmingly positive.
“No Sex Please – It’s Christmas was a good fit for the Corning Community Players. It’s a very funny play. (In fact, even though I’ve heard the lines that others onstage make many times), there are still lines that make me laugh.
“People are also so happy to be able to come out to a performance like this, and just enjoy a good belly laugh! We also had our MC Calvin Wood provide a brief introduction for each character in his opening remarks – which is something that I think our audience appreciated. It meant that they were ready to meet these characters when they appeared onstage!”
She adds that these performances were both a welcome return to the stage and a fitting tribute.
“This play was dedicated to Mary-Jane Gentes and Karen Dunn, two individuals who contributed so much of themselves and their time to the Corning Community Players. For many reasons, this was a wonderful way to remember them.
“At the same time, all of us were really happy to be on stage again. It’s so much fun to be able to take part in a production like this and spend time with each other and our audience!”
